How to Tell If Your Cat Loves You & Ways to Reciprocate Their Affection

“Does my cat love me​?” Many pet parents, especially those with aloof felines, often ask this question.

Compared to dogs, cats often seem a little more reserved, even a touch indifferent. But that doesn’t mean they don’t care. In fact, felines have plenty of ways of showing affection; you just need to know what to look for.

In this guide, we’ll share some unexpected signs your cat loves you​ — from subtle gestures to endearing quirks — so you can finally decode your cat’s language of love.

How Cats Show Their Love​

Cats have their own unique way of displaying affection. Once you learn to spot these behaviours, you won’t ever have to wonder how to tell if your cat loves you​.

1. The Slow Blink (a.k.a. Cat Kisses)

When your cat narrows their eyes and gives you a long, lazy blink, that’s friendly, positive emotional communication. Studies show cats are more likely to slow-blink back and even approach after a human slow-blinks. Try returning the gesture to say “I love you” in their language.

2. Tail-up Hello (A Happy Greeting)

A tail held upright, sometimes with a soft hook at the tip, is a classic “hi, friend” signal among cats. Experts explain that this tail-up display shows friendly intent toward both people and other cats.

Your pet may even brush their tail against you or give it a little quiver. Both are signs of excitement and affection, showing they’re genuinely happy to see you. Just note: If the quivering happens against a wall or piece of furniture, it could also mean they’re preparing to mark their territory.

3. Head Bumps and Cheek Rubs (Bonding Method)

When your cat nudges or rubs their face against you, it’s their way of bonding and welcoming you into their safe circle.

This behaviour, called scent-marking or “bunting,” happens when cats rub the scent glands in their cheeks on a person or another cat to show acceptance and familiarity.

If your cat offers you a head bump, let her take the lead and respond with gentle strokes along her cheeks. This is a simple but effective way to reinforce the bond you share.

4. Purring (The Comfort Rumble)

Purring is one of the most recognisable ways cats show their affection. While they sometimes purr when they’re uneasy, it’s far more common for the sound to signal comfort and happiness.

If your cat curls up beside you and starts to purr, it’s their way of letting you know they feel safe, relaxed, and content in your company.

5. Kneading (A Soothing Habit)

Ever noticed your cat rhythmically pressing their paws against you as if kneading dough? This behaviour begins in kittenhood during nursing and continues into adulthood as a soothing habit.

When cats knead while being stroked, it usually means they’re relaxed and happy and associate you with the same comfort they once felt with their mother.

6. Grooming (Mutual Care)

Cats groom themselves to stay clean, but grooming can also be a powerful gesture of love. In feline families, mutual grooming helps strengthen bonds, and some cats extend this behaviour to their humans with a few affectionate licks.

If your pet tries to “groom” you, it’s a sign of deep trust. Likewise, many felines enjoy being brushed by their owners, turning cat grooming sessions into a simple but meaningful way to reinforce the bond you share.

How to Show Your Cat You Love Them

Love goes both ways. When your cat shows you affection, it's a truly special bond that deserves to be reciprocated. But since you can’t simply say “I love you, too,” you have to show it in ways they understand.

Here are a few examples:

1. Spend Quality (Quiet or Playful) Time

Quality time is one of the most powerful ways to strengthen your bond, but it looks different for every cat.

For energetic felines, interactive play is a language of love. Engage them with cat toys that tap into their natural hunting instincts, such as wands, feather chasers, or puzzle feeders.

As we explained in the common cat myths we busted, cats do need exercise, and these activities provide just that.

Playtime also helps build your pet’s confidence and teaches them to see you as a source of fun and companionship. Aim for at least one or two 15-minute play sessions each day, preferably around dawn or dusk when cats are most active.

For calmer or more senior cats, quality time might simply mean sharing a quiet space. Let your cat nap on your desk while you work or curl up on your lap while you watch TV. Being present without demanding interaction shows them you are a safe and comforting companion.

2. Create a Cat-Friendly Kingdom

A cat’s home is their entire world, so making that world safe, comfortable, and stimulating is a profound act of love.

Start with vertical space. Cats feel safer when they are able to observe their surroundings from above. Installing cat trees, sturdy shelves, or a comfortable window perch gives them a secure spot to survey their kingdom.

Likewise, providing dedicated scratching posts (both vertical and horizontal) allows them to stretch, maintain their claws, and mark their territory in an acceptable way.

Finally, ensure they have safe havens, like a cosy covered cat bed or even a simple cardboard box, where they can retreat and feel completely secure.

 

3. Offer the Comfort of Predictability

Cats are creatures of habit. They thrive on predictability and need a consistent routine to feel safe.

Follow a regular schedule for feeding, playtime, and even scooping the litter box. This consistency reduces anxiety and builds trust. Your cat will learn that you are a reliable provider of all their needs, which probably is among the most loving messages you can give them.

When your cat doesn’t have to worry about where their next meal is coming from, they can relax and focus on more important things, like napping in a sunbeam.

4. Communicate Gently and Respect Boundaries

Learning to "speak cat" involves more than just reading their signals; it also includes communicating back. Cats are highly sensitive to tone, so always use a soft, gentle voice when talking to them. A calm, high-pitched tone is far more inviting than a loud or deep one.

Remember the slow blink? Make a habit of giving a "cat kiss" whenever you catch their gaze.

More importantly, always respect their boundaries. If a cat walks away, flattens their ears, or starts twitching their tail during a petting session, let them go. Forcing interaction erodes trust.

Let your pet initiate contact and decide when an interaction is over to show them you respect and understand them.

5. Reward With Treats, Training, or Grooming Sessions

Positive reinforcement builds a beautiful bridge between you and your cat. Using high-value cat treats to reward good behaviour (like using a scratching post instead of the sofa) associates you with positive experiences.

 

 

Of course, you mustn’t underestimate the power of praise. A soft "good kitty" in a happy tone can work wonders.

Don’t forget grooming. Even a few minutes of gentle brushing can be a relaxing ritual that reinforces your role as a trusted caregiver.

Strengthen Your Bond

Decoding your cat's unique love language opens the door to a deeper, more rewarding relationship. Return their affection with quality playtime, a cosy environment, and positive rewards to make them feel truly cherished.

Explore our carefully curated cat care products here at Pet's Delight and get everything you need to nurture your bond with your feline friend.